Vanilla: Smell the Oppression

This is an open letter to the women of Trinity Western University, but is applicable to all perpetrators, up to and including the companies who sell them at outrageous prices and even the poor chemists who make these things in large vats. God is exempt, of course, for although He made the base products and set the natural example, this is a clear example of the great harm resulting from fallen humans dissection of nature.




Right. To the point.

Relatively recently, some poor misguided pseudo-scientist published a study saying that males associate the scent of vanilla with 'committment'. However well-intentioned, this was to be one of the most evil and socially sadistic moves of the 21st century, destined to provide doom and destruction to masculinity, and pain to all humanity.



Like this example, from the 20th one.







With me so far? The horrible results of this multiple and resounding:

1. Companies jump on the bandwagon and create/market vanilla-eque scents like the soulless entities they are.

2. Women buy these and, when afraid or desperate, wear far too much of it.

3. This reveals all women with such a perfume as desperately desiring commitment, slurring the ones who just like the smell.

4. This horribly unnerves men who know the secret.

Worse, this is all a terrible mistake in the first place. What nobody realised is that "committment" even including "relationship" doesn't necessarily involve what anyone would desire.

This is, in fact, what got me thinking in the first place:

What does vanilla bring to my mind? Cookies.

So where does comittment come into play? Images of some lovely woman, slaving over a hot stove, baking cookies.





Still with me?
That's right! By buying or responding to vanilla scent, you're making yourself a target, playing right into tyrannical, patriarchial gender roles!



So take heed to my warnings!



Vanilla: Stop now before your humanity becomes forfeit!




Now go forth and shatter the misconceptions!





Or go bake me a cookie.